Animal Crossing: Real Life
by organization MA
Summary: this is animal crossing in real life, but the animals still talk. in this, Teddie goes through all the different aspects of animal crossing.
1. Arrival

**This fan fic makes fun of Animal Crossing, even though I love the game. This particular fic is from Population: Growing, not from Wild World of City Folk.**

**Chapter One: Arrival**

You're on a train, heading North toward your new home. While the train is **moving**, a weird cat wearing a sweater enters the train. He looks at you, stunned, and walks over.

"Umm, can I sit here?" he asks. "I promise I won't fall asleep, fall on you and start drooling on you."

_Charmed. _"Why should I, you crazy weirdo?" I reply scoffing.

"Oh well, at least I know there are still some rude people in the world. My name's Rover," the cat called 'Rover' says.

"Hey!" I yell, "I said no! Go away!"

"I don't know why I'm asking this, but what is your name?" Rover asks.

"Teddie," I respond. _What a psycho, I know why: you're an idiot!_

"Teddie what a weird name for a guy. So where are you headed?" he asked.

"I'm a girl you retard! Why the heck should I tell you, stalker!" I yell.

"Well this is a one way train so I guess you're headed to Snowvill. Nice place; hey so I know where to visit you, where will you're house be?" he asks.

"go away, you frickn' stalker!" I turn my head away from the purple cat.

He smiles, "you mean you don't have a place to live? Well you're in luck, my best bud runs the store there. I'll ring him up, hang on a sec."

The cat leaves through a door to the end of a train. He puts money in something and takes out a **cell phone** and talks with his 'bud' he then closes his conversation and puts the phone in his pocket.

"I'm back," he smiles at me, "miss me, maya?"

"No, go away before I catch whatever you have that makes you retarded," I back away.

"He says he has some houses dirt cheap for sale. You have money, right?" he asks.

"What's it to ya'?" I retort.

"Oh, were about to pull into Snowvill, I guess this is your stop. See ya'!" he calls as I leave the train.

I walk pass a monkey wearing clothes and exit the station, only to be confronted by a raccoon/dog thing.

"Hey, are you Teddie?" the raccoon asks, "I'm Tom Nook, I run the store 'round here. Come with me."

_I probably shouldn't answer that._ We walked toward the first lot.

It has a red roof and a squiggly piece of wood by the entrance. I look at the others; they look the same as the first one, only a different color. _Red's the color of blood_. "I'll take this one." I told the Raccoon.

"All righty, 17,000 bells," he smiles holding his arms out.

"What the heck are bells? All I have are dollars. Can I pay with those?" I ask.

"No money? Why you're so short I can't help to laugh, "he pauses to laugh, "you don't have a house, so I can't leave you on the streets…"

_Of course you can. This is life._

"I have an idea! You can work off your debt in my shop!" he claps to his 'intelligence'.

"That's stupid-" I was cut off by his horrible voice.

"Come by my shop as soon as you can." He then scrambles off.

"Thanks, no directions. I guess I'll wonder about for a while…"

I walked a little bit West and found myself talking to a bear named Grizzly.

"Quit sneaking around!" he yelled. "Oh, your name is Teddie? Hello."

_Did I ever tell him my name? No._

"Ok, can you tell me where Tom Nook's shop is?" I ask.

"Do I look like a sign post? Go to the station or the police office and you'll find a map." He growls.

I scoff and walk back to the station and look at the map. Nook's place is across a river that only had one bridge that was three Acers South. _Sigh…_

I shuffled my feet down three Acers and left two. Then back up three. Overall, it took ten minutes.

When I walk into the shop, what do I get? A yell in my face.

"Where were you? Smelling the roses? Humans…" he sighs.

_Racist. _

"Ok, wear this, and then I need you to plant these flowers around my shop. Liven the place up a bit." He pushes me out the door.

_What an idiot..._ I threw the flowers and the shirt into the dump an Acer East. I walked back and Tom gave me a lecture.

"Why did you change out of your clothes?!" he asks.

"I never put them on," I reply.

"Kids these days… anyway go take this to Grizzly on Acer A-5." Tom Nook sighs passing me a package.

I walk all the way back to Grizzly and hand him the package. He laughs at me for buying a house with no money and gives me a modern bed. I run back to Tom Nook's and get 'paid'.

"I'll keep you earnings as a way to collect debt. You earned 280 bells." He smiles at me, "I feel like you're working full time already!"

_Oh god, save me now!_

I black out.

* * *

**How did you like it? Love, hate, loath? Tell me about it. Guess what happens to Teddie tomorrow. I'm not telling! :P**


	2. Resetti and Gulliver

**Disclaimer: do you think I own Animal Crossing? No.**

**Chapter Two: Resetti and Gulliver**

I step out on my front porch. _Funny, I don't remember I walked home. _I look in my pockets and yell, "hey, someone stole my modern bed!"

The ground started to shake and a mole wearing a miner hat and holding a pickaxe comes out of the ground, "Lemme' introduce myself: Name's Resetti. Mr. Resetti. Let's get down to business, whaddaya' say? You an' me gotta' talk a bit here. I gotta' let you in on why I've come to visit. You followin' me, bright eyes? When you quit playin' last...How'd you do it? You do anythin' unusual, maybe? Like...I dunno', you turned off the power without savin'? Anythin' like that?"

"What are you talking about?!" I ask loudly.

"Don't tell me, I'll tell YOU, pal! THAT'S the reason! THAT'S why I'm here!" he yells.

"Ok, supposedly I did do that, why did I do exactly?" I ask.

"So tell me somethin': you even know what resettin' does to your play time? It deletes it. All that time you spent playin'; POOF! Gone. Bye-bye!" he scolds.

"No wonder my modern bed is gone…" I think aloud.

"Seein' as this is your first offense, I'm gonna' let you off easy this time, OK? But you oughta' know, kid, I'm goin' outta' my way to be friendly here. That's right, friendly... Normally, well...I got some anger-management issues. I was born with a short fuse, and that thing gets shorter every single day." Resetti lectures, ahem excuse me, **Mr.** Resetti.

"I gotta' get tunnelin'. Here's hopin' I don't have to come see you no more. But I'm warnin' you... I gotta' talk to you again, punk, an' I'm gonna' be wearin' my angry hat. And don't you forget it! Now, SCRAM!" he cowers back into his hole and refills it.

"hmph," I mumble, "I like that guy." I walk to Grizzly's but instead find an alligator. "Where's Grizzly?"

The animal turns, "what? Who's Grizzly? And adding to that: who are you?"

"My name's Teddie." I reply.

"Nice name, mine's Boots. So what are you doing here? Are you visiting or moving here?"

_I like Grizzly better. _"I moved here, umm," I look down the road and see that west no longer leads to a river, but a ledge. East gave me the river, "hey umm, where's Nook's place?"

"Tom Nook? Yeah his shop is at Acer A-1. Have you met him?" Boots asks.

"ehh," I shrug, "maybe in another life…" I run to the direction of Tom Nook's and stop at the door. _Wait if everything is different, then wont Nook not know me? Worth a shot… _I open the shop entrance and Nook understands who I am.

"Where have you been? Smelling the roses? Humans…" he sighs unusually like the first time. "Ok, wear this-" he continued the boring orders of before and I did them the same.

"Why did you change out of your clothes?!" he asks like the last time.

"What ja' think?" I retort.

"Kids these days…anyway go take this to Buzz. He's one of my loyal customers so I expect this to be in good shape when you give it to him."

I sigh, "Fine." So I leave Nook's and go to the station to read the map. His house was at the beach, all the way at the bottom of the town.

I start my trek to the beach, which took half an hour. Once I get there, I spot a white speck a little bit of the shore, so being the curious thing I am, I have to inspect.

Once I got there, it was indeed not a white speck, but a white seagull, wearing a sailor uniform. I pick up a stick and poke him, "hello?"

"mff, zzzzzz," he rolled over.

I took the stick, and I use it to slap his face with it, "wake up!"

"What?" he glances up at me, "oh, you saved me! Thank you!" he stood up, "my name's Gulliver."

"Oh, well I didn't actually save you…" I mumble.

"Well it all started when a storm hit my ship," he explained.

_Did I ask him how that stuff happened? Must have missed it._

"And then a big wave came and crashed into my boat and I was washed of the boat. Then again, it might have been my shipmates…" Gulliver murmured.

"Lovely," I groan.

Gulliver says, "For saving me, you deserve a prize!" he pulls a leaf out of his pants (shirt thingy?) and gives it to me, "I hope your sails stay open and your socks stay dry!" after that he stats walking away.

"O…k…?" I look at my prize and I find out it is a Moi Statue. "What the heck am I supposed to do with this?!" I yell at the seagull.

"It's a souvenir." He mumbles.

"Never mind, I have a job to do," I mumble back.

I walk to Buzz's and knock his door. He comes out and asks, "Yes?"

"I have a package to deliver," I say as I hand him the package.

He grabs the package and grumbles, "thanks, I would have been faster if that old kook would have sent it in the mail…" he then shut the door in my face.

"What a nice guy…" I say sarcastically. Then I star walking back.

::~~::~~::~~::

Nook has me work for him for days. With all the stuff the townsfolk give me, I have a pretty spiffy place. That Moi is in the corner facing the wall; it scared me during the night so I punished it. I sleep way better now than I did then.

* * *

**Yay finally finished! Hey, does this seem rushed or something? **

**I feel as it is. Hmm, must be me. Heh heh.**

**Nice to know what you think about it, tell me if I did something wrong and It would be nice to have some requests for the next chapter! Review?**


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